Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
