If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
