I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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