Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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