dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
