he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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