its not stalking. its research.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
