i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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