I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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