I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
