its not stalking. its research.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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