Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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