I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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