The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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