Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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