I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
