just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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