I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
