It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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