I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
