every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
