its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
