Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I wish i was in the wii world.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
you never un-have a 4some
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
