does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
