He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
