dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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