Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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