My nipple is on Facebook.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
