Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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