Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize