I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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