I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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