You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
