She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
