can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
