i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize