dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize