He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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