oh god the rape fog is back!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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