is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
