I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
