make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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