and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
