A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
