I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
