I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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