It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
how does that bad decision feel?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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