Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
