are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
