How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
