You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize