Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
