Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
