You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
