my room smells like sperm. sweet.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
