is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
