..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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