Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
