I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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