Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
