Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
