alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
