i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
