Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
