Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
did you get engaged???
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
