Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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